getting wheels.

"So wait, you want me to loan you well over $6,000 to drive down to Florida and drive back? How the hell could you possibly expect me to say yes to that?"
"Well, first of all don't consider it as a loan. Think of it more like an investment-"
"I'd much rather think of it as a loan."
"OK. Think of it like a loan then-"
"Cuz that's what it is..."
"OK. That's what it is."
"You're just flat out bad at this.", Jimmy beamed.
"..."
Oakland was silent for about 6 seconds, looking about as pensive as he ever did.

If you ever talked to him for 5 minutes you would know that Oakland never really thought about
anything. He always knew what he was going to say to you, it's just that he wanted to seem sincere.
Really, it just seemed like he was begging for you to say "No" to whatever he wanted.
"People can't say no to thinkers. Thinkers are planning stuff. Thinkers always have you wrapped
around your finger. My father was a thinker."
"You never even met your Dad."
Even back then I was saying no.
"Yeah well, he taught me a lot."
I shot him one of those "I don't what the fuck you're talking about" looks.
"So listen, when we go in there he's probably not gonna give us any money-"
"Well, yeah. It's a donut shop. I mean, do you even know the guy? Why would he loan you money?"
"We're not even looking for money. It's a distraction. Then we'll catch him off guard when we
ask about his car."
"So if we ask him for money then he'll want to give us his car? What?"
"Just...stop right there. Watch me run circles around this asshole."

"You're just flat out bad at this.", Jimmy, the Jimmy Donuts owner beamed.
Oakland was silent for about 6 seconds, looking about as pensive as he ever did.
"So can we borrow your car?"
Jimmy chuckled, clearly unamused.
"No. Some hood rat and his colored buddy-"
"Brother.", Oakland interjected.
I stayed silent.
"Yeah, well, neither of you is gonna go near my car."
If smug were a verb, I'd say Jimmy smugged that last line.
"Understood. Nice doing business with you." Oakland said, with a confident wink.
We walked out and headed around back to where a 2003 yellow Ford Focus wagon sat parked slightly crooked in the only occupied space in the lot.
"O.K., what are we doing?"
"Borrowing his car."
Oakland elbowed the driver side windows and pulled back the lock.
"Wait, he already got a good look at us and we already told him we wanted his car. When his car's missing he's gonna know exactly who did it. What are you thinking?"
"Yeah, but I mean if we asked for it first he knows were too crazy to fuck with. I mean, who would pretty much flat out tell you they're stealing your car and then go do it right in front of you? He'll keep quiet."
Jimmy rushed out the back door with his cordless phone already at his ear.
"...told me he wanted to borrow my car then he just comes out here and breaks into it."
Oakland already was on his knees with his head underneath the dash.
"Hey, Shep, do you know how to hot wire one of these?"
I had already bolted off running. I turned around and signaled for him to follow.
"Come on, dumbass, your plan's over. It sucked."
He got up calmly and shrugged at Jimmy.
"No hard feelings, huh?"
He walked across the street to where I was standing. I practically vaulted him through the door of the grocery store. I was sure it was best just to duck off inside for a while, as long as we got out of sight. I headed for the back thinking Oaky would follow me. Of course I was dead wrong. He marched over to the service desk right by the entrance, cutting past the four people already in line.
"Hey, can I do a Western Union?", he asked of the balding man behind the desk.
"No, we only do MoneyGram sir. Um, would you mind getting back in l-"
"Do you have peanuts here?"
"Yeah...aisle four."
"You don't mind if I sneak a few, do you."
"Actually, I do. You can't just eat food off the shelf."
"Jesus, you're worse than those damn toilet designers. Why lift the seat when there's already a
hole? It's like having competitive money wiring services. It's very anti-Customer Service."
"What the hell are you talking about?", blurted the clerk, clearly no longer concerned with maintaining the charade of taking care of customers.
"Can I borrow your car?"
Jimmy barged in and yelled across the front of the store.
"Hey! Stop that guy! He tried to steal my car!"
With his pointer finger out and his face clearly betrayed Oakland fired back:
"Whoa! Dude! I said no hard feelings!"