Wednesday, August 29, 2007

conversations from the bar.

MAN
What can I get you?
OAKLAND
I'd like to send a Western Union. To Cuba.
MAN
Sir. This is a bar. Now, you've been sitting here for 20 minutes eating my peanuts, are you going to order a drink?
OAKLAND
Shasta. Rocks.
BARTENDER
What? Sir, we don't have that. I can get you some Coke?
OAKLAND

God damnit!
BARTENDER
Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave...
OAKLAND
Fuck yourself, baby killer.
BARTENDER
What? Get the fuck out of here!
Oakland leaves and makes his way down the alleyway.
MAN
What is it you're looking for, Oakland?
OAKLAND
What the fuck did you just say? Who the fuck are you?
MAN
It's me. Your brother. It's Shep.
OAKLAND
I have no bro- ...can I borrow like 75 dollars?
SHEP

For what, Oakland, more smack?
OAKLAND

Smack Who? I have these baseball cards, they're worth like...2 Million dollars. The thing is they're in storage unit in Florida.
SHEP
Alright, Oak, but I'm coming with you!
OAKLAND

You know what my biggest fear is, Shep? Dropping my keys down a drain hole.
SHEP
What does that have to do with anything?
OAKLAND
Seriously, it's crippling.
SHEP
I really don't see where this is going.
OAKLAND
Don't say that out loud. We shall depart tomorrow!


The next day.

SHEP
Where did you get the money for this moving truck?
OAKLAND
What?
SHEP

Nevermind, I probably don't want to know.
OAKLAND
Yeah you don't. By the way, we have to make a quick stop in Miami on the way back.
SHEP
That's cool, we can have a few drinks on the beach. I think I packed my bathing suit...
OAKLAND
The truck is full of guns.
SHEP
What!? Why?
OAKLAND
We're selling them. To some Latin Kings. Codenames! You're "Raoul" and I'm "Artie" I didn't want to go too hispanic with my name, it'd be suspicious.
SHEP
I still don't see where this is going.
OAKLAND

Shh. Sattle up, potna!

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